“The one who does not remember history is bound to live through it again.” -George Santayana

How do I even begin to express the shame, the brokenness, and the utter fear that tore me apart today? How do I even describe that what I felt today couldn’t have even been a fraction of what over 1.1 million people felt just a few decades ago?

Today, I spent the day at the Auschwitz Concentration Camp, opening myself up to the worst parts of humanity. I went to Auschwitz unaccompanied (joined a tour, but nonetheless on my own). On one hand, I’m grateful that I went alone. In the time and place where we as individuals need to reflect on ourselves and take in the silence of those 1.1 million lives lost, being alone was exactly what I needed. But now as I sit in my hostel after returning from this emotionally draining day, I’m battling with my thoughts, replaying images over and over again in my head, and just wishing that there was someone here with me who’d understand exactly what I’m feeling.

In an universe where I believe positive energy can be found in every corner, today represents the corner and part of history where we let our friends, family, peers, and ourselves down. We took away 1.1 million beautiful souls, each with a set of dreams, hopes, and a future ahead of them. Each who brightened up someone else’s day, each who had something a little quirky about them, and each who loved one another. Each with a name and each with a family.

We’ve all learned about it in our history classes. We’ve all watched the documentaries. But until you’ve stepped foot into that chilling gas chamber where beautiful lives were taken, until you’ve stood at the death wall where thousands were gunned down, until you’ve seen the piles of suitcases, human hair, shoes, and children’s clothing that were collected from 1.1 million lives, you will not have felt the overwhelming anxiety and shame that I have felt today.

I broke down in the gas chambers. That’s when my mind went utterly blank and I was at a loss of words, emotions, and thoughts. My heart gave out. It was tears of embarrassment for the human race. It was tears of helplessness. Inside those gas chamber walls, the lives of men, women, and children were cut short while those outside felt no remorse, no shame, no empathy as they threw in the cans of Cyclone B. When you enter those silent gas chambers, you feel the overwhelming presence of those 1.1 million lives. You can hear their screams, their fingernails against the walls as they try to claw their way out, the agony and helplessness. This is where you really question humanity.

Human beings have the capacity to do such incredible things in this world, but that same capacity can also enable us to carry out some of the worst acts against humanity. Auschwitz is a reminder to us that the Holocaust did happen, that 1.1 million lives were taken just in this one concentration camp, and that we each carry that same capacity to do it again if we don’t hold ourselves accountable for what happened here just a few decades again. The human mind is complex, yes I get that. But how is it that parts of the human mind can just shut off? The parts where we feel for one another. The parts where we empathize and love each other.

I’m ashamed of us as human beings. But now sitting here and reflecting, I’m even more fearful. Today was a reminder that if we don’t actively step up to stop the hate and if we don’t value human lives as much as we value our own, there’s a chance that history could repeat itself. So here is my one, small tid-bit, call-to-action. Stop and think about the world leaders today. I rarely ever, ever, ever get political but I am speaking 100% for the love of humanity. Do not let the Donald Trumps of the world find a way to repeat what happened here in Auschwitz. It doesn’t necessarily (and mostly likely won’t) look exactly like what happened here in Auschwitz but if people continue to support the Donald Trumps of the world who foster a nonchalant attitude towards the persecution, riddance, and hate of a particular group of people, we as human beings are on the route to another Auschwitz. You’re probably right in that our countries wouldn’t allow this to repeat. But it’s happened before. 1.1 million times. Don’t let the Donald Trumps of the world give rise to a world of hate. The past is powerful and we need to learn from it.

Forever remember the lives taken at Auschwitz. Forever remember the lives that were ended prematurely, the lives that were forever altered, and the acts of cruelty that we as a collective group need to hold ourselves accountable for.

This year of travelling has been an incredible experience. But I’ll admit, there are times when I lose sight of the reason why I fell in love with travelling in the first place. Plain and simple, to learn. To learn more about the world, to learn more about where people come from, and to learn more about where I fit into this world. Today embraced all the reasons why I fell in love with travelling. I’m learning and growing every day. I’m struggling through things every day and today was just one of those harder days. We’ll keep going though. We always do. We learn from the past and we shape our futures. We together learn from our mistakes.

Thanks for reading. -El